70+ Funny Helen Keller Jokes
You may not have heard jokes about Helen Keller, but I bet they are pretty interesting jokes that you will ever come across. Although some people claim that Helen Keller jokes aren’t funny, this set of Helen Keller jokes refutes that. They are interesting, fun and relaxing. If your name is Helen or probably Helen Keller then please get in touch with us. It’s all a joke and nothing personal. A lot of things have been attributed to Helen Keller in these jokes, but they are just for fun. Even if your name is Helen, you’re sure to find these jokes interesting.
Below are 70+ very funny Helen Keller jokes.
Funny Helen Keller Jokes – Best Helen Keller Jokes
1. Why was Helen Keller late for school? DUI
2. Why is Helen Keller’s whole face burned? She was looking for fries
3. How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She answered the iron
4. How did Helen Keller burn the other side of her face? They called back
5. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color? Velcro
6. Why can’t Helen Keller have children? Because she’s dead!7. How did Helen Keller go crazy? I’m trying to read a stucco wall
8. Why can’t Helen Keller drive a car? She is a woman.
9. How did Helen Keller learn to masturbate? Tries to read her own lips.
10. Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read their lips
11. What do you call Stevie Wonder and Helen Keller who play tennis? Eternal love.
12. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
13. How many children did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!
14. If Helen Keller fell in the woods, would she make a sound?
15. Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was Urghrrghrghr
16. Have you heard about the new Helen Keller doll? Wind it up and it goes into walls
17. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her? Put Saran Wrap on the toilet
18. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game? Trip to Jerusalem
19. Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper? That way she could always find him
20. Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers? From whispering sweets into her boyfriend’s ear
21. How did Helen Keller choose her eyes? she screamed hysterically
22. Have you seen a picture of Helen Keller’s father? Neither has she!
23. Did you know that Helen Keller has a dollhouse in her backyard? she neither
24. How did Helen Keller burn off her ear? Respond to the iron!
25. How did she burn the other one? They called back!26. What did Helen Keller name her dog? Nymphdrumperlmf.
27. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By walking on their braille books in golf shoes.
28. How does Helen Keller drive? One hand on the wheel and one hand on the road!
29. Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried to eat with a fork.
30. Why was Helen Keller’s leg yellow? Her dog was also blind.
31. What did Helen Keller’s parents do to punish her for swearing? Wash their hands with soap.
32. How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She tried to read a waffle iron
33. Where do Helen Keller’s parents go when the company is over? Disney World
34. How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? break her fingers
35. Why did Helen Keller cross the street? What, like she knows where she’s going?
36. What is that (slowly waving fingers)? Helen Keller groaned
37. How will you find out if Helen Keller is alive? When you hear something falling down the stairs
38. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? Because she sings with the other one!
39. What is Helen Keller’s excuse when she loses a competition? She couldn’t see it
40. Why didn’t Helen Keller’s last relationship work out? Her boyfriend complained that she never listened to his problems.
Helen Keller Funny Jokes – Helen Keller Jokes
41. Why did Helen Keller eat her poop? She thought it was a candy bar.
42. Have you heard about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
43. What is Helen Keller’s favorite convenience store? WAAAWAAA
44. Why did Helen Keller’s dog kill itself? You would too if your name was sajifjlsisdjifiuopoo
45. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers? Read the waffle iron
46. What was Helen Keller doing when she fell down the well? She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue
47. Why didn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? She wore mittens
48. Why is Helen Keller wearing skintight pants? So you can read her lips
49. How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car? Attempt to read a stop sign that goes to 80
50. What is the name of Helen Keller’s favorite book? Around the block in 80 days
51. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless Love52. Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? she neither
53. If Helen Keller was psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?
54. What did Helen Keller say to the clerk when she knocked over a product display in the store? Just looking!
55. Why couldn’t Helen Keller play on her high school football team? Because she’s a girl
56. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other.
57. How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? She was a PC and got a virus
58. How do you mess with Helen Keller? Give her a basketball and tell her to read it
59. Why is it okay to tell jokes to Helen Keller? Because she can’t hear them anyway!
60. What is Helen Keller’s favorite color? Black
61. How can you tell that Helen Keller brushed her teeth? By the light in her eyes.
62. Why does Helen Keller only play the piano with one hand? She uses the other to sing with him.
63. What was the worst day of Helen Keller’s life? The day she burned her mouth and couldn’t taste anything either.
64. How did Helen Keller drive? With one hand on the wheel and one hand on the road.
65. How did Helen Keller drive her car? One hand on the steering wheel, the other on the road
66. How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date!
67. How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answer the stapler
68. What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless Love
69. Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? So you can read her lips!!
70. What was Helen Keller’s favorite childhood game? Trip to Jerusalem
71. How did Helen Keller’s teachers punish her for speaking in class? They made her wear mittens
72. Do you remember the Helen Keller doll? You would wind her up and watch her run into walls.
73. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand? So she can moan with her right hand
74. What is Helen Keller’s favorite mouthwash? Jergen’s lotion.
75. What did Helen Keller scream when she fell off the mountain? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
76. What is Helen Keller’s favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.
77. Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet? Her dog was also blind.
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